Bed-Time of the Nostalgic Blues

Listening to music,
in my bedroom
and wondering at the ever-present
memories.

Nostalgia is a wonderful partner.
Nostalgia is a wonderful friend.
But Nostalgia could be a terrible enemy.

She breezes a soft aroma
of delicate heart-string tugging
that envelops emotion
in a soft crescendo
of real-life rhythm.
Pretensions rise
and fall
to the sound of the tinny jazz-music
called ‘Goodbye’.

The final tune plays
and the fat lady singing opera
with a splendour figure
of surprising grace says…

“This day that now looms,
takes of you a piece of heart
but not peace of heart.
Something is now gone,
something has now come.”

Music continues to play
and I take one final look around.
Change had to come, one day.

Change is, in fact,
life’s only constant.

But that’s okay, because my bedroom is blue.
And blues are nothing but a good man feeling sad.

-Matt K, 2006.

Bible College was coming to a somewhat sad end for me and this poem reflects the bittersweet effect of that. I was both happy - because of what was to come - but very sad, because what I already had was a very good thing... in fact, the only time of my life I could truly say I was happy (to that point). I didn't know what the future held for me just then and I was very agitated that what was to follow may have not turned out for the better. As it turned out, and as I'm sure my later writings show, I was wrong. But I still had that very awkward, very melancholy feeling of simultaneous nostalgia and expectancy. I wouldn't ever want such a feeling again but I am glad, at least, I could capture the emotion of it down on paper.